


Be Like Lightning

by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Attempt at Humor, Fucking Hanji, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Reincarnation, SO MUCH FLUFF, Taller Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Tattoos, Titan-Haired Eren Yeager, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but only for like a second, mentions of depression, this is super happy guys I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams/pseuds/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whatever Levi expects it isn't this. It isn't the boy with the scars running down his wrist, the ink on his skin and the broken crook to his smile. He'd thought Eren deserved a break after their first lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Like Lightning

**Author's Note:**

> Writing stories when I should be sleeping is my jam

They meet at a hospital; or, if he was being specific, outside one. Hanji had called him, explaining how her foolishness had gotten her into trouble _again_ and that she needed him to pick her up because Erwin was busy and she couldn't drive on the pain meds they'd given her. He hadn't really noticed the male standing off to the side of the entrance, leaning against the hood of a car and staring resolutely ahead.

He'd been busy cursing Hanji mentally for cutting into the hours he was meant to be sleeping, inventing new and exciting ways to drill into that empty brain of hers that he was _not her personal chauffeur._ By the time he did look up, Levi was practically at the doors, old instincts catching the glint of a shadow and screaming danger. He breathed through it, stopping right in the middle of the walkway with the automatic doors open and awaiting his entrance. He probably looked ridiculous, and if he hadn't caught the other male's attention before he certainly had now.

Staring down the entrance to the hospital, hands clenched and slow breathing easing the fast thrum of his heart, Levi nearly had to start the whole process again when a hesitant voice called a careful "are you alright?"

 _Just peachy,_ Levi gritted his teeth. _I'm just dealing with shit I should have gotten over years ago--no, a lifetime ago._

His lack of answer seemed to only worry the other even more, enough for him to approach.

Instincts told Levi he was in his blind spot, but Levi promptly told them to shove it. He wasn't a Titan, wasn't a monster. And if he tried anything Levi would break his jaw and maybe throw him at a nurse afterwards.

"Hey," he asked again, reaching out to touch his shoulder before seeming to think better of it. He stood to the side for a few long moments, and Levi side eyed him. All he saw was shaggy hair, a baggy hoodie and jeans.

"Hey," the male said again, stepping in front of him. "Do you need me to bring you somewhere?"

Levi's breath caught, easing heart racing once more. What had been blurry now came into clear focus, a pair of startling green/blue/gold eyes that had never failed to convey every single emotion going on in their owner's head staring down at him. Messy brown hair was suddenly so familiar, the long strands reminiscent of a beast that had screamed its rage one moment and cradled him close in the next. A lanky body covered in loose clothing was everything he remembered and more.

"You're kinda freaking me out now..." Eren laughed, ruffling his hair uneasily. His eyes pleaded for some sort of help, conflicted and unsure.

"I..." Levi paused, swallowed once and then continued. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" He asked, relief plastered across his face. "You've been standing here for a while."

"Bad memories," Levi told him flatly, fighting the joy and relief in his chest because Eren was looking at him and he wasn't _remembering_. "Besides, you look like you were standing over there for a while too."

"Oh," Eren grimaced. "Yeah I... You could say I have some bad memories too. I don't like hospitals."

"Don't tell me you're afraid of needles," Levi murmured.

The painful twist of his mouth was all the answer he needed. "Among other things. Anyways, I'm glad you're okay. You should get in there," he recommended, jerking his head towards the exit. "I'm sure someone's waiting for you."

 _She can wait,_ Levi wanted to say. _I've been waiting for years._ "Will you still be out here when I come out?" He called to Eren's retreating back.

The male paused, hands stuffed into his pockets as he looked back. He looked him over, mouth quirking up into a small smile. "Yeah." He nodded. "I'll be here."

 _You better_. "Good."

"I'm Eren by the way!" He suddenly called, as Levi forced himself to turn and walk forward, away from the person he'd been searching for for so long.

 _I know. I know you like I've never known anyone else_. "Levi."

"Levi," he could have sworn he heard, the name a curious twist in Eren's mouth.

Levi closed his eyes, chest aching sweetly, and walked away.

* * *

He relearns Eren like a favorite book, mouthing words he knows by heart and refreshing his memory with those he doesn't. He is the same, deep down, and yet not. There is a difference in his smile, a glint in his eyes that was never there before, a relaxation in his shoulders, an ease in his manner. Scars there where none were before.

Levi is not ignorant to the red and white lines running down the vulnerable underside of Eren's right wrist. They are like lightning, following the roots of his veins up to the ink marking his skin; and they spark a deep seated horror in Levi who had spent years in another lifetime knowing that one day his charge would die, either by his hand or another's, and that he would be hopeless to do little more than watch.

He wants to shake this new Eren, who does not heal away his pain as swiftly as the him before, and who wears his battle scars not underneath, but for all to see.

 _You should have came to me,_ Levi wants to shout. _You should have told me, should have--_

He swallows the words. After all, he wasn't there.

* * *

The slide back into love is not an easy one. Levi who remembers an old Eren and who has to cut out his image and replace it with this new one, struggles. 'Do you remember's and 'Just like''s slip unbidden from his tongue before he can stop them and he is left floundering for an ending that will not alarm or disappoint. It shouldn't be this hard, he thinks. He has loved Eren before. He can remember a head strong, hate filled teenager crashing through his walls like the armored Titan, uncaring of the havoc he had caused. He can remember Eren backing him into a corner, both unintentionally and not, stripping him open and bearing the cavity of his chest to the teen's touch. He can remember Eren slipping into his life, gradually and then all at once, as if he had blinked and suddenly Eren was everywhere. He can remember sitting long nights with the boy, a silent presence in the shit storm they'd been thrown into and he can remember the way Eren would spring into battle by his side, faithful and strong and determined and oh so fragile.

He can remember so much...

And Eren can remember nothing.

Eren, in his strong fragility, has nothing to fall back on when Levi confuses or hurts him. Eren is learning all over again, wandering the maze of Levi's structure without a map or even directions. He has no memories of touch, every caress and intimacy startlingly new. He does not remember the ways to pull a laugh out of Levi--though it is easier now a days--and still goes wide eyed and flushed when Levi smiles. He does not remember the proper way to clean a window and he does not know that he could simply crawl into Levi's lap and stay and Levi would let him, no matter his facial expression or protests.

He does not know, but he is learning.

 _It should not be this hard,_ Levi thinks. _And it should not be this easy._

* * *

"Do you want to know how I got them?" Eren asks one day, casually as Levi presses kisses to his wrist. A flick of eyes up to shy green make Levi aware that those words are not as easy to say as he tries to convey. He nods slowly.

"I'd like to."

Eren's expression is a conflict of relief and disappointment, and Levi cannot decide what direction to take before he opens his mouth. "I had nightmares as a kid." He started, soft and hesitant. Levi squeezed his hand encouragingly. "I probably shouldn't use past tense since I still do, but they're less often now. Anyways, most nights I'd wake up in tears, sweaty and barely breathing. Sometimes I'd scream myself awake, and others my voice would be so hoarse I could barely talk. It scared the shit out of my Mom and had my Father sending me to therapists by the time I was six. They threw a lot of bullshit at me, most of it the same spiel of 'you'll get over it, it's in your head'. It didn't really help that well..." Eren grimaced then, looking sheepish. "I couldn't exactly remember what I dreamed. I get vague themes, like death and blood and monsters, but that's about it. I tried hypnosis once and the doctor referred me to another right after. They never stopped though, no matter what they tried. So, I learned to cope and pretend and eventually got out of it. It messed me up pretty bad though, and I developed anxiety. School made it so much worse but I didn't want to be homeschooled so I didn't talk much about how horrible the kids were and how I spent periods some days, just trying to breathe. With anxiety came depression and well..." He shrugged helplessly. "I was seventeen"-- _seventeen_ , Levi swallowed. _Seventeen and dying in my arms-_ -"and I had friends. High school got better as I grew into myself and learned to get away from the bullies, but in the end it didn't seem to matter. I had a bad day on top of a series of bad weeks, and I snapped. You've seen the scars on my thighs. I was always smart about it, always cut in places I covered up, but this time I didn't care. There's so many lines because I was afraid at first, I don't like pain that much. So I kept doing it, until there seemed to be enough and I couldn't hold the razor it was so slippery, and then I just let it happen. I woke up in a hospital after." Eren shrugged, breath leaving in a long exhale.

Levi squeezed his hands, which had begun to shake as he spoke, massaging little circles into soft skin with his thumbs. "And this?" He murmured, tracing a curving line just above those lightening scars.

"'Be like lightning'," Eren quoted, a ghost of a smile curling his lips. "I got it when I was 18. It was a birthday present."

"It's fitting," Levi admitted. "I thought the scars looked like lightning even before I saw it."

"Of course you did," Eren laughed, smile wide and genuine now as he pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Does it mean anything?" Levi wanted to know, before he lost himself in kissing the brunette breathless.

"What a silly question," Eren chided, pulling his hands free to twine his arms around Levi's neck. "It means everything."

* * *

It is the night Eren tells him 'I love you' for the first time in this new life, that it happens. Levi had stayed awake, long after Eren had drifted off, a nagging, sinking feeling in his chest. Instincts that had never failed him before told him something bad was going to happen, and so Levi waited, arms wound protectively around Eren's shoulders.

At first, he didn't realize much was wrong. One moment Eren was fine, if a bit sweaty, safe in his arms, and the next his heart was racing, mouth open in desperate pants and eyes leaking tears.

It took long, horrified moments to shake him awake, in which Levi had to twist, pushing Eren flat against the bed to straddle his waist and pin his arms when he made to flail.

"Eren," he said, as calm as he could be considering the situation. "Eren, look at me."

The brunette shuddered, a pitiful whimper that made Levi want to take his past's blades and kill off whatever it was that was distressing his lover so badly.

"Eren," he repeated, when he did no more.

Another whimper this time, followed by a hitching sob, only this time with the flutter of eyelashes. Slowly, wet eyes met his, Eren's lower lip trembling. The wailing sobs that followed were not slow, and neither were the gasping breaths not the shaking limbs as the other male let out agonized "c-corporal's" that hit Levi's chest like a ton of bricks.

Eren remembered.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" Eren blurted, a day after the incident and in the beginnings of dinner. As soon as the words escaped, he scrubbed a hand through his hair and over his face with a frustrated sigh. The slant to his brows made it clear that hadn't been what he wanted to say. "I mean, I know why, but... I didn't remember. What where you going to do if I never did?"

The answer to that, Levi found, was simple, and he was surprised that Eren needed to ask. Then again, the brunette had always seemed to need reassurance every now and then that yes, he still owned Levi's heart. "I would have loved you anyways."

Green eyes went wide and soft at that, a tint of red rising to the surface of his cheeks. "I..."

"Hey," Levi interrupted, reaching out to bump his chin gently with a fist. "Don't start crying again. That was terrifying."

Eren gave a hiccuping sort of laugh, eyes gleaming with a sheen of tears anyways. He lifted a hand to his face, covering first his eyes and then just the slip of his mouth. "Corporal..." Eren started, a wicked glint in his eye that just _spelled_ trouble. "You're taller now."

_Oh that little shit._

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think?? Comments will help deal with the exhaustion tomorrow morning 
> 
> Also you can totally hit up my tumblr @ my101fragiledreams


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